People say that if you're a wiccan then you must worship the devil or you must be into demonic things. Well I know it's far from true when people say those things. I am not someone who is a full wiccan, I do have a pendulum and believe in saging my house as well as everything supernatural thing that comes along with it. However, I do not even attempt to mess with the things that some wiccans do. For example I have, and never will, touch a Ouija board in my life. I don't feel like opening the door for any supernatural being to cross into our world and wreak havoc on mine, or someone else's, life. It's an odd thing to think about because there are things in my life that I have experienced that led me to the point I am now. Where I believe in these supernatural things. When I was nine years old I shared a room with my sister and we had these bunk beds and no matter how much I begged her she always got the bottom bunk. Our room was so small that the only window we had was right over our bed, meaning my head was directly in front of it. The window was the only thing I liked about the top bunk because I was young I needed help falling asleep and something about looking out the window into our back yard helped me fall asleep. Eventually my sister let me have the bottom bunk and I was so happy to finally experience something new. Not even a week after we switched she was asleep on the top bunk and I was laying with my head at the foot of the bed right across from the door. At the time our house was set up where we had no door and as soon as you walked into our room you turned to the right and there would be a hallway that led to a bathroom door and then my brothers room, which didn't have a door either. While I was laying on my stomach trying to find a way to fall asleep I heard someone walk from my brothers room, down the hall and then stop right in front of where my head was. There was no one there and I wasn't scared until I heard the feet turn around back towards the hallway and then the light went out and I felt that something wasn't right. I screamed and buried my head into the pillow when my dad came running into my room asking what was wrong. All I could do was point and he woke my brother up and yelled at him for turning the light off when I was scared of the dark. My dad is one of those dad's that is too naive to realize I'm not scared of the dark, I'm scared of whats in the dark. And my brother didn't turn off that light, something I couldn't see did. The next day I convinced my sister to switch back and she agreed. That night I did was I usually did, I stared out the window waiting to get tired in order to fall asleep when I heard a noise in the doorway. I looked hoping to see my brother or maybe my mom standing in the doorway. Instead I saw nothing just like the night before. So, I looked back out the window and as soon as I did I made eye contact with a man who had scars on his face and what looked like a cage over his head. I was terrified so I buried my face into the pillow, but I didn't scream this time. When I had the courage to look up I watched as the man walked away. From that point on my life was different. I could feel the presence of someone or something everywhere I went. I could see things that others could not, but thankfully it was only when no one wasn't around. When I was going into seventh grade my parents got a house in another town and we moved there. I instantly knew there was something in the house. Through my time living here I have seen a cowboy in my hallway, heard a little girl giggling as she played with my nieces toys, heard walking, been terrified by the door opening up and slamming, coward in my sleep under the blankets in fear I would wake up with bruises, seen a teenage boy in a white t shirt and jeans run through my yard everyday, have things be in a different place when I leave and come back, realize I'm being watched by a black shadow man that my best friend has seen twice and finally saw something crawl on my ceiling into my closet to not be seen again. I know most people, if not all, would not believe the things I mention because even I know they sound crazy. But through it all I have learned a lot. I stopped praying to God and stopped believing that my religion was Christian. I became someone who believed a little of most religions and took those, turning them into a new religion that only I believe in because no one else understands my point of view. About two months ago I saged my house and I had purchased a pendulum in March. Since then I haven't had anything bad happen in my house, only minor things like walking or scratching. And I'm okay with that for now. I don't feel so crazy.

      It's been awhile since I have been here to write. I've been coping with my new life and thinking of new ways to improve it. In September I was able to spend my one year anniversary with the love of my life, we'll call him Ben. It was an amazing day of my life especially since I've had long relationships before, my first relationship lasted a year and my second lasted almost three. With my first two relationships I had enjoyed the time I was with them but I had never had the feeling with them that I have with Ben. Ben literally give's me these feelings where I feel like I'm on cloud nine. When I talk to him I smile like a fool, only focus on him and feel like I'm his world. However, good things don't always go the right way. He's friends with a lot of females, which I'm okay with, but when I see one of them posting on his facebook saying he needs to text her or call her and that she thinks he's silly and whatnot. It wouldn't bother me if she didn't like and comment on almost every single one of his posts. Currently he is in another state, and what a coincidence, so is she. All I can think about is what if he is cheating on me with her. She calls him a nickname and everything which pisses me off because I personally like to call him his full name and I'm the only one who does it, but he doesn't like it but yet she can sit there and call him a name that sounds like something you would call a baby. On top of HER he hasn't told his parents about me, or his family. When we say I love you not once does he say it in front of them. He is visiting me for the holidays and he posted that on facebook but he not once said visiting his girlfriend, he said he was visiting a girl he met for the holidays. I'm not someone who curse's but what the fuck dude. I'm your girlfriend, you even asked me to marry you. How can we have a relationship if you can't even tell people about me? How do I know you wont tell people about me because you really have a girlfriend there as well? I have cried over it so many time's but I never bother telling him how I feel because I know how it'll go. He'll reassure me, tell me I have nothing to worry about and then tell me he will tell everyone as soon as he visits during the holidays. Yeah, that sure sounds like the perfect relationship. I don't think I ask for much, I just want to be able to talk to his mom about plans to go to lunch together or talk to his sisters about boys or how they need advice. Or even talk to his dad about things he used to do. I feel like I'll never get that, and I don't know what to. I guess only time can tell....

                                                        Skyla Annabelle Cormier

    Today was odd. Though I spent most of the day at school my ex had texted me, one of the guys I liked Sat there and bragged about his dream girl that he got to cuddle with and spend time with and the guy I love has barely talked to me today. I understand that he's at work and he has to work in order to get the house he wants so we can move in together, but it's hard sometimes. 
    Anywho, enough about that. Sometimes life seems like a terrible sitcom that never ends. it's a terrible thing to say but it's the truth. It's gotten better this year though after about January it got better. Actually since I turned eighteen it's gotten better. I'm not depressed anymore and I've been six months clean from cutting myself. It makes me smile to myself knowing I was strong enough to take that stand. I haven't even had the urge to do it. These days people are like I'm depressed I need med's to help me through it but I'm walking proof that time and patience is enough help. I had suffered with depression for four years and I'm proud to say I got passed it. I am now who I am supposed to be. Strong and hopeful plus I'm intelligent and funny. Wow. Could I sound more egotistical? Well, I could but I won't go there. Kind of ironic because I wouldn't consider myself egotistical but yet I'm sitting here typing about myself. But when no one listens there really is no other choice. 



Halcyon ~ Cherish ~ Beatitude
Skyla Annabelle Cormier

     June 2013. Graduation from high school and it has yet to hit me. While my friends shiver in fear from the thought I sit lazily on my bed because my mind isn't ready to accept it yet. I don't know if it will ever hit me. 
     I do know that I have family and friends from all around the states coming to town to see me graduate and to enjoy my graduation party. While most people would be used to seeing their family, I on the other hand am one to just do things on my own. But it's family, and I can't tell them no like I want to. 
     I have yet to understand the significance behind the graduation and the party. I mean, i get that fact that it's a celebration and a "moving up", but i personally believe if you have your diploma move on. Good job, you did it. Now go on with your life, see you in another ten years. That is, unless of course, you're like my oldest brother, who is 32, never went to his ten year reunion for god know's what reason. 
     For now i just watch movies and TV, awaiting the arrival of family and graduation. Wish me luck. If i don't write a second entry, I possibly committed suicide. The money is in the.....


Halcyon ~ Cherish ~ Beatitude
Skyla Annabelle Cormier